The NecroNomNomNomicon: Cookbook of the Dead

Availble on Itunes, B&N, Amazon, and most other Ebook retailers.

The NNNNO’CN was read by Piers Anthony (yes, THAT Piers Anthony!)

He had this to say about it:

…a rather original story centered on fantastic cooking – literally fantastic, literally cooking – merged with a boy and dog story. It’s pretty wild from the start, with the boy’s mother a superlatively bad cook getting into a televised cooking contest, and demonic figures being fended off by the dog. There is romance along the way, and plotting by evil figures, and of course that carnivorous sheep. I think young readers will like it.

Funny choices

SO I was working at Umpqua Community College a few years ago, and I was tasked to lug 50 iPads to the student center and use them to take surveys.

Sat there ignored for hours, when a woman plops her ample posterior into the seat across from me, vapid eyes blinking.

So she wanted to do the survey, and as she did it, she was oh-so-eager to tell me how she was  transferring from our modest community college, to some place … in Minnesota, I think.

Get this.

To take classes in crystal therapy, aura therapy, and past life regression.

OK, that’s her right to throw away her efforts in a real school to play make believe up north. Bravo to her. Her parents will be so proud.

But here’s the thing:  A day/month/few months into the new curriculum when she realizes that she can’t actually do anything the books tell her to be doing, (except as pure delusion) will she, out of embarrassment, presumably pretend that she’s got these magic powers and contrary to everything that is real and forge ahead in her “classes”?

So, will she lose her already loose grip on reality, or snap back, feeling incredibly stupid, and attempt to continue with a real education again?

I told her that once she graduates, to be sure to look up the Amazing Randi, because he’s offered a ton of money for many years to the first person who can demonstrate the kind of abilities she’s wanting to learn.


Hogwart’s isn’t real, you damned hippies.

Maybe the very real debt this fraudulent school will burden her with will help teach her a genuine lesson.

…But I doubt it.


Its come to my attention that I’m kind of a crybaby when it comes to animal movies.

I am a huge animal lover (and eater, let’s be honest.), but a dramatic movie where an animal gets hurt trying to help someone gets me all misty eyed every single time.  (Even that episode of futurama where fry’s dog makes an appearance.)

But I was watching some kids movies with my little Elyza, and found myself tearing up as well.

I attribute this to not having a normal, healthy home life.

I guess I’m just broken.


I came across an old copy of Dream Park in my garage, and thought I’d pass it to a friend to read, as all good books must travel from reader to reader before finally expiring to weather or broken spines or some other equally horrible fate.

However, in the book, I found this:


Yes, that’s me in the Clifford the Big Red Dog costume (not that you could tell). This was back in, oh, 2004? I worked at a Barnes & Noble at the time, and still do, to this day, consider it to be one of my top three jobs ever.

I mean, what literary nerd worth his salt never fantasized about working in a bookstore or library? I know I did.

And look at me now, a published author (albeit in a small magazine in the UK) reminiscing like an old man over his glory days. (except that I have no glory days of sports to relate, with the exception of LARPing, I suppose. Some people consider that a sport.)

That costume was heavy and unwieldy, and were it not for the battery powered computer fans in the head that made the unbearable heat somewhat less than lethal, I might have expired, like something quite melty. All of that, however, became insignificant when I heard the kids cheering for Clifford  …for me. So I busted out my best moves, and danced and played, and acted along to the book that was read.

That was the best day I had had in a very long time.

One day, when I finally hit the BIG deal for one of my novels, I hope I can sit in that store, In the Irving mall, predictably in Irving, Tx., and sign books for fans. Then it would have come full circle for me.

Hope it’s not too far off.

Mauschwicz or Duckau? Is Disney Brainwashing Our Children?

It may seem far-fetched to try and draw parallels between the Nazis and the good-old-American-as-apple-pie Disney corporation, but I will demonstrate to you, without a shadow of a doubt, that the Disney Corporation has used in the past –and continues to– use methods of indoctrination on our children, similar to what the Nazi’s have employed.

Although I am specifically calling out Disney for these practices, I am also obliquely pointing a finger at Pixar, Dreamworks and Nickelodeon, and any other major producers of media for children, because they emulate the practices of Disney. (they’re very successful, after all) When I refer to Disney, I also imply these named and unnamed others as responsible parties and co-conspirators.

The Nazis took brainwashing to a whole new level, taking German children from their parents and raising them in state crèches, which made sure they grew up proper Nazis from as early an age as possible. The state taught them everything that they needed to ensure that the impressionable German children were raised to worship the fatherland and their Furher as a god.

Ironically enough, Disney made a short movie about the Nazis and the indoctrination program that they put children through, called Education for Death (Link is to the movie, hosted on YouTube)



This movie, although blatantly a war-propaganda film, holds a surprising amount of truth in its technicolor glory.

Children, taken from family, and forced to absorb state programming learn exactly what the state wants, with no chance of refusal. This statutory literacy paved the way for a generation of hate filled individuals. Now you may ask “What does this have to do with Disney?”. It’s a valid question, and one that deserves serious thought. Consider the case for the overworked mother (or father), who in her desperation, pops in a DVD (I really wanted to say video, but that dates me) to capture her beloved progeny’s attention for almost two hours, whilst she manages to get something, anything done. The lively music and bright colors do just that, and quite efficiently as well. What’s more, those bright colors and entertaining songs teach some very interesting things on the sly. Some people might hear my list and dismiss it as nonsense, claiming that children don’t see that deeply into anything. Which is fine, except that they totally do. It’s a common mistake to ever assume a child didn’t notice something, which is why you should never swear around a child if you don’t want them to pick up the habit, (one of mine, unfortunately)

Essentially a captive audience, these children sit and absorb the morality and lessons taught by the movies that are played day in and day out. You may think back on the Disney movies you have watched in the past and disagree, but I will provide examples and imagery that will prove my point without a shadow of a doubt.

In Nazi Germany, women were restricted from participating in political and academic spheres, and were often told that the place for them was as a wife and mother for the Fatherland.

Hermann Goering less bluntly summarized the future role of German women: “Take a pot, a dustpan and a broom and marry a man.”(USHMM)

Disney’s take on the subject is represented many times in numerous films, but I will focus on The Little Mermaid, The Lion King, Aladdin, Beauty and the Beast, The Road to El Dorado and Tarzan.

“The messages embedded within these films resonate with children and are reiterated through other sources, while they also resound with parents who have also received the same lessons since childhood.”(Look Out New World, 167)

Giroux also notes: “In The Little Mermaid, and The Lion King  all of the women in both films are ultimately subordinate to men and define their power almost exclusively in terms of dominant male narratives.” (Giroux, 80-81)

After considering these two quotes, Let’s take a look at an example:


Ariel, in The Little Mermaid, who was based on Alyssa Milano when she was sixteen (thus giving her an age, unofficially)(TLM:AC) is the youngest of seven daughters, and ostensibly seems to be fighting against a controlling father, and feels compelled to explore the human world to discover and claim the object of her desires, but she soon makes  a pact with Ursula, who gives her the ability to walk in exchange for her voice. Ariel then becomes a metaphor for the traditional housewife-in-training narrative. The sea-witch Ursula tells Ariel that taking away her voice isn’t so bad because men don’t like women who talk. (Giroux, 81)

So we see a lesson on subservience and personal value being determined by the opinion of males. Not a great start, I think. The next example will further shed illumination on the subject.


In Aladdin, Princess Jasmine’s,(who is the much admired and desired sixteen year-old princess of Agrabah,) life is almost completely defined by men, and in the end, her happiness is ensured by Aladdin, who is finally given permission to marry her. (Giroux, 81)

Now we see that women are objects to be bartered by or given to men. I have one last example to show, and it’s the most disturbing:


Beauty and the Beast‘s story is more convoluted, but just as vile.  Belle, who is portrayed as an independent woman from the city stuck in a provincial village in 18th century France. She is called odd because she is often seen reading a book. Often considered a bit of a feminist, she holds strong willed views on the world, and is surprisingly worldly and well spoken. However, this character that has been built up is dashed to the ground when she takes her father’s place serving the Beast, before deciding to civilize him. This is where the story becomes particularly problematic. The Beast not only takes her away from the only family that she has, but yells at her to try and force her to fall in love with him and stay, both clear signs of domestic abuse. But instead of reviling this, the movie makes it seem noble to suffer abuse, when clearly it is not. For a viewer who is living in a violent relationship, who needs to maintain faith in something beyond her immediate situation, this story suggests that if she acts in a loving way towards her abusive partner, he might learn from her how to be loving and might turn into a prince for her.(The Disney Defect)

She starts with an admirable personality, but then discards it for the more familiar weak woman character who must suffer for love, which is a pity. These three examples of sexism should cement a clearer understanding of some the subtext found within Disney movies, or at least, prompt you to watch them once again, more carefully.

So what does effect does these examples (purportedly) have on children?

The effect is twofold, with distinct differences based on the gender of the viewer. In the case for female viewers, they are taught that they have little value unless it’s attributed to a man, that the desire to educate yourself is strange and unwomanly, and to suffer through an abusive relationship shows true love.

Male viewers learn that women are weak and need to be protected. They are supposed to serve the men and can be won through acts of heroism, and hurling verbal (and otherwise) abuse at them is perfectly acceptable, because they will love you anyway.

This is a dreadful set of lessons to be learned. How can sexual equality ever be realized when this sort of poisonous tripe is taught to our children surreptitiously? The next literacies that we will examine concern society, race, and how the two should work together.

The Nazis made no effort to hide their ideal personal image; tall, blonde haired, blue eyed and handsome. All others were üntermensch –sub-humans– who deserved only to be reviled and exterminated.  Likewise, Disney portrays the ideal person as being aristocratic and British. Although Disney never actually says it (Like the Nazis did) they lay subtle hints throughout their works to this end.


Giroux states: (In Aladdin) “All of the bad guys have beards, bulbous noses, sinister eyes and heavy accents, and they’re wielding swords constantly. Aladdin doesn’t have a big nose; he has a small nose. He doesn’t have a beard or a turban. He doesn’t have an accent. What makes him nice is they’ve given him this American character.” (Giroux, 82)

Despite the fact that he’s an Arab (as is everyone else in the movie) and a street urchin who steals to survive, he is given the white male voice, moreover an American white male voice. Obviously the American character is the protagonist, how could he not be? He sounds smart and looks handsome. This not-so-subtle racial dig only fans the fires of those who suffer from islamophobia, and since that’s an issue that’s seen in the news and other medias almost daily, it is doubly reinforced. Giroux also provides us with our second example, this time from The Lion King. (whose poster seemingly has the image of a woman in a thong on display)


Giroux dissects The Lion King in a similar way: “Racially coded language is also evident in The Lion King where all the members of the royal family speak with posh British accents while Shenzi and Banzai, the despicable  hyena storm troopers, speak through the voices of Whoopi Goldberg and Cheech Marin in racially coded accents that take on the nuances of the discourse of decidedly urban, black and Latino youth.”(Giroux, 82)

Again, a caste system is being portrayed, where affluent white people stand over the lower classed ethnic people, which leads me to the third piece of evidence.


In The Road to El Dorado, the natives are depicted as child-like innocents, in awe of the amazing and god-like Europeans. It should be noted that the (reluctant heroes) Spaniards inexplicably have British accents.

So now we have a whole people treated (and portrayed) as if they were slightly retarded because they are technologically behind the Spaniards, and the protagonists are given a different accent to further the idea that they are white, (and it’s true that many Spaniards are white, some even Aryan.) but it’s been established that a Spanish accent makes them a lower class of person, and not fit to be the heroes of the story. So in essence, they’re making sure they won’t be confused for Mexicans. How low is that?

In conclusion, it should be clear that Disney clearly has been working on programming that teaches our children that  1) women are inferior to men 2) Upper class white people should be in charge, and 3) people who look different or have foreign accents are villainous or of lower status than white people. All of these points have been attributed to the Nazi party at one time or another to varying degrees, which leaves me to say…

I truly do not think Disney is at all like the Nazi regime, save for the indoctrination schemes, but the point is clear. There is a significant effort being made to shape the minds of the young, and it’s cloaked in the appearance of innocence and adventure. I mean, who doesn’t like the song Under the Sea? It seems like so much innocent fun, right?

So what can be done? Precious little, I fear. Disney is the proverbial juggernaut, and it’s already charging ahead, full tilt. The best you can do is to realize what’s happening, and try your best to take steps to counteract the programming, participate with your children, and don’t pass the responsibility of parenting onto a corporation who has only its own interests at heart. I hold no expectations that you could completely insulate children from Disney and it’s peers, and even if you tried, you’d only end up looking like a religious nut.





Works Cited

Giroux, Henry A. “When You Wish Upon A Star It Makes A Difference Who You Are: Children’s Culture And The Wonderful World Of Disney.” International Journal Of Educational Reform 4.1 (1995): 79-83. ERIC. Web. 20 Aug. 2013.

“Look out new world, here we come”: Race, racialization, and sexuality in four children’s animated films by Disney, Pixar, and DreamWorks (2009)  Cultural Studies – Critical Methodologies,  9  (2) , pp. 166-178.

“The Disney Defect.” : Domestic Violence in Beauty and the Beast. N.p., n.d. Web. 20 Aug. 2013. <;.

Ron Clements, John Musker, Alan Menken. The Little Mermaid: Audio Commentary (DVD). Walt Disney Studios Home Entertainment. (2006)

United States Holocaust Memorial Museum. “The Holocaust.” Holocaust Encyclopedia. Accessed on 20 Aug. 2013.




LARPing 101 or In the Defense of Virginity

LARPing 101


In the Defense of Virginity

“Being a geek is all about being honest about what you enjoy and not being afraid to demonstrate that affection. It means never having to play it cool about how much you like something. It’s basically a license to proudly emote on a somewhat childish level rather than behave like a supposed adult. Being a geek is extremely liberating.”  –Simon Pegg

I guess I must apologize immediately. There is a cultural idea that gamers are all 30 something doughy losers sitting in their mothers’ basement, whose only sight of an actual not-on-the-internet vagina was their mothers’ on the day they were born, and it would remain so for all eternity is a horrendous, but humorous stereotype. I hope that the following will dispel this idea, and make the reader see that there are gamers from all walk of life, some of which are actually girls.

For those that know nothing about RPG’s ,(role playing games, not rocket propelled grenades) they may not know exactly what it is. Worse, some may depend on second, third or even Kevin Bacon* levels of distance between firsthand knowledge and themselves.

I was a victim of such tragic discrimination as a youth. My mother had given me the old red boxed set of Dungeons & Dragons when I was eight. I was an carnivorous reader, to say the least, and fantasy novels were like cheesecake to me now: Irresistible. This made for a long term love story for me. However, it had to wait. I lived in West Texas, which is quite possibly the closest one can be to the devil’s rectum and still be on Earth. Which is to say, that it was malevolently hot, desolate, and populated by those who considered reading a sign of homosexuality.

RPG’s are, simply put, games of imagination. A few steps up from having an imaginary friend, and perhaps a few more from running around, pointing your fingers at people like guns and shouting “PEW! PEW! PEW!”. They have, since that fateful day, in Lake Geneva Wisconsin, when a certain Mr. Gary Gygax and Jeff Perren formed the first official RPG. It was a miniatures based game called Chainmail that led the way, by including a supplement which had rules for elves, wizards, and other fantastical units, such as dragons. This was the point in time that started it all.

Sadly, RPG’s got a bad rap by a few tragic incidents involving mentally disturbed individuals who happened to play D&D. (In truth, they could have been obsessed with chutes and ladders for all it mattered.) But people, as they are wont to do, decided to find a scapegoat, rather than face the fact that the individuals were, a bit on the crazy side. Shortly after, Tom Hanks made a movie that further demonized gaming called Mazes and Monsters. We, the gaming community, really didn’t need help seeming weirder than we already were. Thanks for that.

Years later, the family moved, after various hijinks involving the Pinkertons, to the Dallas/Fort Worth Metroplex. Where I met my best friend Karl Mckibben. He was a hell of a guy, and he liked games as much as I did. We spent years together playing D&D, Champions, Star Frontiers, whatever we could get our grubby mitts on. My little brother Travis joined us as well, and our childhood wrapped up in that fashion.

LARPing  has its roots in the SCA  (The Society for Creative Anachronism) which was founded in 1966. Technically not LARPing, they are certainly the predecessor to it. It’s not a huge leap from hard core rattan battles to actual role play sessions. (add referee and non-player characters, safer, NERF style weapons, add a plot, sweeten to taste)

An old friend of mine had a chance to sit down with me and talk about the SCA  he, (Charles Lander III) had this to say when asked:  “How is LARPing different from the SCA?”

“The SCA is a re-enactment group. Everything has to be just so, from clothing style, materials used, it’s also a very clique’y organization, it is literally set up in a caste system of nobles and commoners.  In a LARP, no-one can be a noble unless they earn it in-game. that way everyone starts on an even keel.” (Lander, Charles. 2013)

Ander Monson says this about the SCA:

Anyone could walk into our lame but better smelling version of the Middle Ages just by coming through the door. I don’t pretend that this is entirely due to Dungeons & Dragons, or due to Gygax, since after all, fantasy literature has been around since time immemorial, and even the Society for Creative Anachronism (you know, those kids you see dressed up and battling in armor on college campuses) has been around since 1966, when it originated reportedly (and questionably) as “a protest against the twentieth century.” (Monson 144)

Which is fine, if you’re a twenty something in the prime of your life (both women and men fight in the SCA), but for gamers, a good portion of us aren’t quite …in shape enough to go all out in hundred degree sun and fight on the pitch. In fact, it’s a good enough statement to say they we’re all in perfect shape, because pear is apparently also a shape. Whereas LARPers tend to lounge about the site, chatting and doing the verbal interactions that really makes LARPing shine.

LARPing officially started in 1981 as a game called Treasure Trap, based out of Peckforton Castle in Cheshire, England. Notably, it relates to RPG gaming because “The original Trap rule system was closely modeled on Dungeons & Dragons, using the same character classes and alignment system. Each class had eight levels, at which point the player had to undertake a special solo adventure. Monster weapons were coated with paint as a mechanic for tracking damage to players. The common areas were time in constantly, with parties forming for linear adventures and occasional mass battles when the castle itself was attacked.” (Hook)

LARPing entered into my life when I was around nineteen, thanks to NERO. (the New England Roleplaying Organization) NERO had just opened a chapter in Arlington, and many of its members were students at UTA. (University of Texas in Arlington) In truth, the chapter had not truly been formed yet, I truly got in on the ground floor. It officially signed its charter a week after I joined.

NERO was a LARP based out of  rural Massachusetts, and it stressed safety above all else. Rules for the manufacture of armor were lax to non-existent so far as safety was concerned. There were rules abound as to determine how many “armor points” armor is worth in game mechanics.  NERO was my first LARP, and it was my home for years.

I am fully aware of the looks we got as we did sparring practice in the public parks. I have had those looks of disdain and pity cast at me all my life, for I was an alpha nerd. I did not then, nor do I now, care particularly about those peoples’ opinion of me and my hobbies. I invited my little brother Travis to a NERO event many times, and it took some work, but he eventually caved in and came. Afterwards, I spoke with him about it. This is the transcript of the interview:

M: Hello Travis!  Tell me about your first experience with LARPing

T: Well You had been pestering me to try it for months, and I eventually caved in.

M: OK, well, let’s start with your initial impression, then.

T: Honestly? I thought it was super nerdy. I didn’t want anything to do with it.

M: What changed your mind?

T: So you had finally convinced me to come along, I had every intention of having a look and then ditching.

M: And then?

T: And then I was painted head to toe in green makeup. I was a goblin, and I had a club. I was supposed to fight the players with a pack of other goblins. I never looked back. That was twenty-five years ago. I don’t play as much as I used to, but I’ll still strap a shield on sometimes. I taught my kids to LARP. Heck, I met my Ex-wife at a game.

M: any experiences you’d like to share?

T: Yeah. this isn’t a specific experience, but I’d like to say that LARPing builds social skills for those who are sorely lacking. It builds leadership skills, It teaches you to depend on others when you are in need, and to let others depend on you when they are in need. I thought that it was for losers, but I was wrong. It’s for people who aren’t afraid to express themselves.(Galvan, Travis. 2013)

Also, Markus Montola from University of Tampere (Finland) has this to say about LARPing:

In other words, socially expanded role-playing provides empowerment to act against social constraints. While an ordinary person is bound to follow cultural conventions, a directly instructed player or carefully designed role-playing character can differ from them. After the game the player is left with insight on the strength of such conventions and how they operate. (Montola)

Clearly, the condescending attitudes that those not in the know tend to favor my kind, are misplaced. Hopefully, one day, they can accept us for who we are, as we accept them.

One day.

*Six degrees of Kevin Bacon is a parlor game based on the “six degrees of separation” concept, which posits that any two people on Earth are, on average, about six acquaintance links apart. That idea eventually morphed into this parlor game, wherein movie buffs challenge each other to find the shortest path between an arbitrary actor and Hollywood character actor Kevin Bacon. It rests on the assumption that any individual involved in the Hollywood, California, film industry can be linked through his or her film roles to Kevin Bacon within six steps. The game requires a group of players to try to connect any such individual to Kevin Bacon as quickly as possible and in as few links as possible. It can also be described as a trivia game based on the concept of the small world phenomenon. In 2007, Bacon started a charitable organization named

Works Cited

Galvan, Travis. “Interview.” interview. 2013.

Hook, Nathan. “The History of UK LARP.” LARPMAG.COM 5 June 2006. Internet.

Lander, Charles III. “Interview.” interview. 2013.

Monson, Ander. “Geas.” Writing Creative Nonfiction. Pearson, n.d. 136-146. print.

Montola, Markus. “Tangible Pleasures of Pervsasive Role-Playing.” DiGRA 2007 Conference. University of Tampere, 2007. conference material.