Fasting

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So, I’m on day 2 of intermittent fasting (as prep for full fasting afterwards)

not quite as awful as day one, and my blood sugars have dropped by halfish.

Not bad, I say (besides the standing up from my desk 30-odd times to get something to eat, then reminding myself I’m not meant to.

Good (but HANGRY) times.

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Had a nostalgic dream

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I had a dream last night, about my first love. Her name was Judy, a small, thin, Chinese girl. (This is why I hold a torch for Asian girls, I think.) We were in Jr. High at the time. In the dream we were a couple. We were standing nude, in a large bathroom, like we had just gotten out of a sauna or something. She stood there, face distracted, arms wrapped around herself. I hugged her from behind, to comfort her, and felt that she had goosebumps. She clearly didn’t want to be there, with me. Despite the fact that our relationship was scripted, she rejected it.

When I was in Jr. High, I was a huge nerd, and completely incapable of having a conversation with her. She never knew I loved her. My good friend Jeff was everything in her eyes. Even though he had a girlfriend (who he married. They were a great couple) she only ever saw him.

One time, Jeff and I were playing chess after school, and Judy came in. Seeing her gaze lingering on him made me upset, and I said something hurtful. I didn’t mean it. However, for some reason, she thought he said it. She crumpled inside, and cried out “Jeff, how could you?” I immediately felt bad and corrected her misunderstanding by shouting “I said it! Not him.” She fled. I don’t think I ever spoke another word to her.

I still think of that moment. I have many regrets.

Homeopathy, a billion dollar sham

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Let me offer this video as sort of a preparation for my inevitable rant. Firtstly who is this old guy?

It’s the Amazing Randi. He’s a conjurer. He’s not the guy who leaves things mysterious, and implies what he does is real magic. Why? Because he’s taken it on himself to debunk fraudsters and shams who would prey on the gullible (And there are a LOT of gullible people out there. If you doubt that, you might be one of them.) He’s even offered a million dollars to the first person who can prove without a shadow of a doubt the existence of supernatural powers or abilities. (He’s never had to pay, BTW)

>The Video!<<

Now my rant.

My lovely Daughter, Elyza has a cough and congestion, so I went Walmart to get something for her. After perusing the shelves, I found that nothing looked exactly like what I need, so I approached the pharmacy and asked the pharmacist, about my problem. one of them said they couldn’t recommend products, but the other (there were two behind the counter) suggested that I purchase one of a variety of homeopathic quackery. I stopped her there and asked why would she suggest I buy something that does nothing? She retorts “Well some people feel that…”

I began seeing red. My daughter’s health will NEVER be determined by some gullible fools belief. Only proven and well acknowledged science.

I began berating her as a medical professional offering placebo effects in place of actual medicine. She ought to be ashamed of herself. What if a parent feeds these nonsense pills to their beloved child and expect them to get well?

What if they get worse? (I expect they might, because these sugar pills do nothing)

This is like those idiots who refuse treatment in favor of prayer.

But this is my gripe:

Walmart trains their pharmacists to peddle this shit. . Forcing medical professionals who ought to know better to peddle nostrums to people who do not know better, to take their money because they don’t actually have a medicine, but BY GOD, they’re gonna take your money one way or another.

That ought to be criminal.

In fact, it might well be.

For shame, Walmart.

 

 

 

 

An awesome find!

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So, I had lost the partial manuscript that was

The NecroNomNomNomicon: A Recipe for War

in the tragic death of my old computer.

But it was discovered hiding in the Netherlands by a long-time friend and beta reader, Robbin Van Der Ven. He sent it back my way, and I read it, for the first time in years.

Now, to fully explain the situation, I need to back up a few decades.

I was …. maybe thirteen or fourteen. And my father was completely and utterly drunk. (not uncommon) He decided that I needed to go to the grocery store and buy some food. My father was not one to tolerate back-talk. (any disagreement was back-talk when he was drunk.) And I needed to take my brother’s bike (his call). It had broken handlebars that would flip down, so riding it was tricky at best.

On the way, I had come across a big buckle in the cement of the sidewalk, and the broken bike decided to get all wonky at that exact moment. End result, I skidded along the sidewalk, on my head. When I woke up, I staggered into the grocery store, covered in blood. I was still groggy, and recall that when I asked someone for help (soccer mom with child in tow) they screamed in terror, grabbed the child and fled. This caused a teenaged employee to appear, look at me, freak out, grab and throw me into a display of… I think cereal and run off to call an ambulance.

This accident damaged my memory. Long term memory is iffy for me at best. A good example of this is:

My brother Travis took me to see a movie. I don’t even remember what it was anymore. Just that it was awesome. I called him the next day asking him if he’d seen it.

Pretty embarrassing.

Here’s the good that came from this accident:

Sometimes I forget what I’ve written.

This is helpful sometimes, because when a writer goes through the never-ending loop of edits and revision, one can become blind to ones mistakes, because you’ve been over it a bajillion times already. But me? Sometimes it’s like reading it for the first time all over.

This just happened to me.. again. I was reading the partial book 3, and seriously got the chills from a pretty dramatic fight scene. It was freakin’ sweet.

That’s an awesome feeling.

Shame I had to sacrifice big wodges of my childhood to get it.

-F-

The Feels

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So, my daughter has finally decided it’as time for daddy to participate in tea parties.

(She’s two.)

This is her Tea party haiku:

 

Tea party party

I love tea party party

nom nom nom nom nom

Awkward!

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So, I was in my disguise as a run-of-the-mill Cashier, trying my best to be cheerful and helpful. I’m running the express lane, and sweep this young girl through quickly. As I’m wrapping up with her, I turn and look at the next guy and say “Howdy!” as is my wont.

At that point I hear “Fifteen.”

I stopped and turned to her, unsure of what to say. I eventually say “Congratulations, But I just asked this fella Howdy, because it would be creepy if I asked random underage girl her age.”

She got embarrassed, and said “Oh, I’m sorry im.. uh. .. hard of hearing.”

I smiled and let her trail off and split, soda and candy clutched to her chest.

Now, ok. awkward, right?

This is the second time almost the exact same thing happened to me. (she was sixteen last time)

Maybe I mumble. I know sometimes I speak too fast.

C’mon girls! Use some context!  You don’t want any of this greying old fat man.

Now If one of them says “twentysomething”….

 

Funny choices

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SO I was working at Umpqua Community College a few years ago, and I was tasked to lug 50 iPads to the student center and use them to take surveys.

Sat there ignored for hours, when a woman plops her ample posterior into the seat across from me, vapid eyes blinking.

So she wanted to do the survey, and as she did it, she was oh-so-eager to tell me how she was  transferring from our modest community college, to some place … in Minnesota, I think.

Get this.

To take classes in crystal therapy, aura therapy, and past life regression.

OK, that’s her right to throw away her efforts in a real school to play make believe up north. Bravo to her. Her parents will be so proud.

But here’s the thing:  A day/month/few months into the new curriculum when she realizes that she can’t actually do anything the books tell her to be doing, (except as pure delusion) will she, out of embarrassment, presumably pretend that she’s got these magic powers and contrary to everything that is real and forge ahead in her “classes”?

So, will she lose her already loose grip on reality, or snap back, feeling incredibly stupid, and attempt to continue with a real education again?

I told her that once she graduates, to be sure to look up the Amazing Randi, because he’s offered a ton of money for many years to the first person who can demonstrate the kind of abilities she’s wanting to learn.

Fuck.

Hogwart’s isn’t real, you damned hippies.

Maybe the very real debt this fraudulent school will burden her with will help teach her a genuine lesson.

…But I doubt it.