Funny choices

SO I was working at Umpqua Community College a few years ago, and I was tasked to lug 50 iPads to the student center and use them to take surveys.

Sat there ignored for hours, when a woman plops her ample posterior into the seat across from me, vapid eyes blinking.

So she wanted to do the survey, and as she did it, she was oh-so-eager to tell me how she was  transferring from our modest community college, to some place … in Minnesota, I think.

Get this.

To take classes in crystal therapy, aura therapy, and past life regression.

OK, that’s her right to throw away her efforts in a real school to play make believe up north. Bravo to her. Her parents will be so proud.

But here’s the thing:  A day/month/few months into the new curriculum when she realizes that she can’t actually do anything the books tell her to be doing, (except as pure delusion) will she, out of embarrassment, presumably pretend that she’s got these magic powers and contrary to everything that is real and forge ahead in her “classes”?

So, will she lose her already loose grip on reality, or snap back, feeling incredibly stupid, and attempt to continue with a real education again?

I told her that once she graduates, to be sure to look up the Amazing Randi, because he’s offered a ton of money for many years to the first person who can demonstrate the kind of abilities she’s wanting to learn.

Fuck.

Hogwart’s isn’t real, you damned hippies.

Maybe the very real debt this fraudulent school will burden her with will help teach her a genuine lesson.

…But I doubt it.

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Author: Professor Porkchop

Southern New Hampshire University Student, Writer, Artist.

2 thoughts on “Funny choices”

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